Making the decision to have a baby, when disabled.

Well, my name is Kate, this is new to me, so bare with!

I am a first time mummy, to my son Ryley, born 9th march 2013, making him 3 months old as I write. Becoming a parent is the biggest challenge anyone can undertake, but I find it hard to stand long enough to make my own dinner let alone the constant 24/7 job that is parenthood, you see, I have fibromyalgia and some yet unknown medical condition causing me dislocations on my shoulders, incredibly tight muscles and snapping tendons (I had to have 2 surgeries on each hip to release the tendon). I have constant chronic pain that can’t really be cured, all the x-rays and the super-duper medical machines and mumbo-jumbo couldn’t see why my pain is there. So at the moment it’s taking each day as it comes.


I got married to my husband (of course) in April ’12, we had a discussion about what was most important to us, getting married or becoming parents. We both agreed we wanted to be married before having a baba, but also wanted to get on and have said baba! So we planned our wedding in 7 months, with all the financial short cuts we could possibly find, I hand made my bouquets, table decorations and invites, everything was the cheapest we could find and we decided on a simple registry office ceremony, and said we would have the wedding we wanted with a church and the bells and whistles as a blessing when we are rich and famous. We were ecstatic to get a positive home pregnancy test at the end of June the same year.

Finding out I was pregnant was the most blissful and magical moment but also filled with fear. I would have to manage on less medication. How would I face each day when I was in too much pain to get out of bed, how would I cook food when hubby was working nights? How would my hips and legs cope with the pressure? Well surprisingly part some major pelvic pain, the pregnancy hormones were doing me some massive favours, I still struggled a lot, But I could cope.

I had an early induction after being on insulin for gestational diabetes, because of course nothing could be easy for too long. I was already 2cm dilated when i was transferred to delivery suite, my waters had to be broken before Ryley was fully engaged, they wanted to check for signs of distress, I had high blood pressure and pulse, Ryley’s heart rate had started to go rather high, all was clear though and I started getting some good contractions, with a drip in one hand with a line of glucose and insulin, and a drip in the other hand with the induction drugs. By having the drip stands, one on each arm I was quite restricted with movement. Trying to sit my buttocks on the toilet was a trauma in itself. After I sat in the end of the bed and waddled my backside up, I felt trapped. I was contracting pretty constantly after an hour or so on the drip, but I hadn’t dilated at all, after 4 hours of contractions every 10 to 20 seconds I had only dilated to 3-4cm, the doctor said if it didn’t start developing in the next couple of hours I would have to have an emergency c-section. Surely enough a few hours later, I led eagerly crossing my fingers, just to hear that nothing had happened, before I knew it I was already prepped and heading to theatre. Having the spinal and quickly feeling my legs disappear was bliss, I couldn’t feel the pulsing, burning, sharp pain I hadn’t felt relief from in years. My Ryley came into the world at 23:48 a few minutes before mothers day arrived at a healthy 8lb1.


My next blog will be telling you about the first day of motherhood, the exhaustion of not actually having had any sleep for 48 hours, and managing my first week of being a stay at home mummy.

The boy in the cot at the end of the bed is worth every sleepless painful second my life has.


2 thoughts on “Making the decision to have a baby, when disabled.

  1. I don’t have a permanent disability, but I did have extreme complications with my second pregnancy due to a large dermoid cyst in my right ovary. This resulted in our son being born prematurely, nearly losing him, the loss of my right ovary and many other things I won’t bother you with. I just wanted to say I can relate to having a scary pregnancy and aftermath, yet looking at that sweet baby boy and knowing that he is worth every second of pain and fear I went through getting him.

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