Support Networks and Sacrifice

Any new parents know it’s the bees’ knees to have family support just around the corner, in our first two months of parenthood we were literally a street away from my parents, I wasn’t exactly asking them for help but it certainly helped me feeling secure and close in case a total breakdown occurred! Its a lovely feeling sharing your newborn with family and friends, everyone likes a baby, its a fantastic event that brings people together (as long as you don’t involve poopie nappies).

Well, as previously mentioned, we had to move two months after Ryley was born, to a whole new area, where no family or friends were close by. We relished in the time we had, having the frequent family visits, and of course our ritual Sunday lunches courtesy of Father and Spifftastic cakes courtesy of the Mother.

So we now live 2-3 hours away from my family and even further from the in-laws. I am in the routine okay, but living here feels like a bit of an anti-climax, the new flat feels like home, but as soon as I pass through the front door, I enter the unknown (kind of sounds like I am about to tell some sort of horror story).

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Why did we move so far? We started paying for a work from home style course for hubby a few years back, he would have to do some modules at home and then spend a week or so at the training centre to do his practical units, of course, nothing is smooth sailing though and we lost some of my benefit, I desperately wanted to use the money to plan a better life for us and our future family, we could barely afford to continue paying for the course let alone losing the work pay and the amount it would cost in travel, accommodation and food for the practical weeks. Johns course came to a halt, we hoped we would find a way soon to get it restarted, but with me now in too much pain to work, we were living month to month, struggling to pay our bills and John was working all the hours god sends, 12 hour night shifts. We finally realised that we would have to bite the bullet and sacrifice living where we wanted to be able to complete the course and earn a better income to provide a good life for Ryley.

Our family is great, they understand we are tight on cash, and know we can’t visit often, they try and visit us as often as possible, which is just as hard on them, my mum has bad hips too, added with an iffy back and head after some clumsy accidents.

I am not a fan of getting help, I feel so ashamed at the state of my home, I know people understand but that doesn’t make me want help with the dirty washing anymore. Even if not a person that wants physical help, I know its still important and needed to know they are there, emotional support is gold. I don’t really like talking about these things, writing it is always easier but again knowing people are there, means everything.

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