Why wont I use walking aids? Why do I find parking in disabled bays so frustrating?

I am constantly getting the evil glare as I walk away from my car in the disabled bay, even though I display my blue badge and have a disability sign on my back window, people judge me before checking, not all disability is visible, many conditions cause a lot of pain and issues without being obvious from afar. I too give the evil glare, but only if I have checked they aren’t actually disabled, we all know that sometimes people are in a rush, or just plain lazy, sometimes they have a child and seem to use that as a excuse, I have seen people park in the parent and child when the child is in fact a teenager! Parking is a thing that gets every ones backs up, often hard to find and often expensive. I perfectly legally use the disabled bays, but as I have a child people seem to think I am parking there for ease, people seem to think if you are disabled or ill you wont have children, if anything it made me want children more, (not so I can get them to do the hoovering, I promise) because I didn’t get to achieve the other things in life.

There is so much judgement around the world, it seems even if you do use walking aids, people will judge you as a benefit cheat, your only way to not be looked at so stereotypically is to have a limb missing. I decided to not use a wheelchair, I feel to vulnerable, confined, like I have admitted defeat, I want to be as normal as possible, I deal with the consequences of walking instead when I get home and the pain catches up. I have sometimes used crutches, most of the time when I do it will just be the one though, but this is a risk in itself for me as my shoulders have dislocated hundreds of times in the past (thankfully I managed to stay out of hospital most of the time as it always pops straight back in, counting my blessings!) and if it pops out while I am leaning on it I am likely to just go splat on the floor. I’m sure if I stopped being so stubborn and used a chair I would find some things a bit easier, but the pain tends to catch up with me anyway just from being sat straight for some time (the best way for me to be comfortable and avoid tight muscles is to have my knees raised and bent), even so, now I have a baby and a pushchair that would be a nightmare in itself, having a pushchair with a full bar is making my life much easier though, being able to lean on it and release a bit of pressure makes it a lot easier to walk and do the shopping with the hubby.

No one seems to give benefit of the doubt any more, its all read a book by the cover, I find nothing more difficult than people looking at me judging me to be one of those people that say they are disabled to take taxpayers hard earned money, and cheat it out of the worthy peoples hands, in reality I only get a small amount of DLA, realistically just the tax my husband has taken would pay my benefit. We have since Ryley started receiving child tax credit and benefit, but we still scrape by, we still feel like we need to find someone to beg for help, at least we are working and sacrificing to try get a better life for Ryley and hopefully come off benefit someday.


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